Colin Devroe asked, “Are you a fanboy?”

Yesterday, Colin Devroe sent me a link to his blog post “Are you a ‘fanboy?’”

Based on a couple of responses that he already had, I only had a few minutes to leave a comment before an appointment. But I knew I wanted to followup with more since I’ve often been accused of being a “fanboy” by accusers that use it in a derogatory way.

If you find any of these ideas or observations interesting, then you’ve probably enjoy Beach Walks with Rox. The ideas I talk about below cover a lot of the philosophy Roxanne talks about on her daily video walk. And they are examples of how she and I relate to each other, our friends, our clients, and the world in general. As we like to say, “It’s simple. But it’s not easy.”

Here’s the comment I left for Colin:

I think there are a couple of things going on with “fanboy haters” or put another way, those uncomfortable with the enthusiasm exhibited by others.

I think this is a great topic that is really about human nature and the society we live in. I’m going to write more about it on our company blog and link back here later today. But for now, here’s a summary.

1) Idea of Scarcity. This is the idea that there’s not enough of something to go around. So if you have it, that means I can’t have it or I can’t have as much of it as you do. The idea of scarcity can lead to resentment.

2) Group Mind. This relates to a feeling of being powerless which can also lead to resentment. If all your friends are really excited about and love something, and you don’t, then surely your opinion counts less than theirs and and perhaps there is something wrong with you. Almost everyone I know loves “Lost” but I don’t get it. My opinions on “Lost” must therefore be less important than everyone else’s.

3) Making Comparisons. I have a car and you have a car. Different Makes and Models but similar list of features. They both get us where we want/need to go. But, MAN you love your car. You’re excited to tell anyone that will listen how much you love my car and why. Hmmmm…. My car is similar but I sure don’t love it as much as you seem to love yours. Perhaps I made a mistake buying my car? Why am I not as excited about my car as you are about yours? These aren’t the questions I ask out loud. Instead, I exhibit self-doubt, confusion, and most overtly, resentment about your enthusiastic excitement about your car.

Those three issues are pretty basic to human nature. And just like Colin’s reply to my comment, a lot of your reading this will probably recognize this in not only yourself, but most people you know at one time or another.

But I think the biggest thing that gets people in trouble is:

4) Making up a Story. Believing it’s True. And then Acting on as if it Were True. This one is really really easy to fall into and can cause the most confusion. The first part, Making up a Story, is easy enough. We all do it every day. We see a young kid with a lot of tattoos and automatically make up a story that he must be a punk and a troublemaker. We see a pretty woman, dressed well, walking briskly down the street not paying attention to anyone. Obviously she’s a bitch! Right?

Once you’ve made up a story, it’s easy to convince yourself that it’s true. To say to yourself, “I just know it’s true.”

Now the dangerous part. Acting on it as if it were true. Rather than engaging openly and with curiosity with the “tattooed punk,” you might ignore him, or worse, disrespect him or even seem fearful of him. Same with the pretty woman who was just in a hurry to perhaps visit her dying friend in the hospital. You don’t know their situations or what’s going on in their world. So you’ve made up a story that you now believe to be true, because you know everything, right. And now you’re acting as if the story you made up in a fraction of a second was true.

Then, when the tattooed kid happens to be having a bad day or the pretty woman doesn’t hear you when you say, “Excuse me.” when you’re trying to reach the coffee creamer, you get to be right. You get to self-fulfill your own story, that you made up, and say to yourself, “I knew it. She is a bitch.” or “Yep. What a tattooed punk.”

After a while, making up stories, believing they’re true, and then acting on them as if they were true, becomes a way of life. And we don’t even know it. It just happens. And it’s really difficult to break the pattern once it becomes a way of life.

Combine any of the above 4 items together, and it’s very easy to see why there are so many problems in the world. Why it’s so difficult to understand each other.

Hell, if we eliminate just #4, most of the shows on Network television wouldn’t be possible.